Friday, November 16, 2012


Here's something I will miss about America: Ovens.

That's right. Most Japanese homes do not have an oven. And I will now reenact how I felt when I found out: 

The Japanese don't bake stuff?!?!?!? HOW DO THEY SURVIVE??? Why do they hate cake?? And lasagna?? WHYYYYYYY????? WHAT HAVE I DONE???????

I need a minute.

But a lot of junk is going to be different and I better just DEAL WITH IT. I can live a year without an oven. I can, I can, I can. Can I? I CAN. And maybe I'm wrong...maybe I'll find an apartment with like-minded folk that also realize that life without an oven is unacceptable. Maybe. I can dream, can't I? I CAN.

And the #1 use for an oven? Cupcakes. Don't question it. I'm right. And as I may have mentioned yesterday, we took it a step further and fried them. That's right. FRIED CUPCAKES. And because I love you and care about your happiness, here's how it's done:

Step One: Skim someone else's super detailed instructions.

Step Two: Ignore the recipe, buy the best pre-made products America has to offer, and wing it.

OMG. I love everything about America.

You can't put a price on this kind of joy. Or you can. It's $2.89.


For breading, throw in a cupcake, cinnamon, and brown sugar. Do NOT lick the blades!! DO NOT!

Prepare your cupcakes for their destiny. A little peptalk doesn't hurt here.

Dip 'em. Wet then dry. Duh. And when the breading gets all clumpy on your fingers DON'T LICK THAT EITHER. Ugh. Don't. Just don't.

Why, hello little cupcake nugget! Aren't you just darling!!

Stop frying after five pieces because you just can't wait any longer to try them. And because you are a little concerned that they look so much like chicken nuggets that somehow they will suddenly taste like them, and while chicken nuggets are amazing, that would be SO DISAPPOINTING RIGHT NOW.

God Bless America.

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