Friday, November 30, 2012

Mission: Boil water

When you suddenly become totally illiterate AND can't speak or understand the language, the most basic tasks get crazy complicated. And annoying. And hazardous. Annnnnd hilarious.

For example, I wanted a cup of tea last night. Simple. Until I met the talking stove. Oh, and I named her Yoko Ohno, just fyi. We're trying to improve our relationship, but I'm keeping my expectations low. Anyway, I figured this you should see for

I was so excited about my cup of tea that I forgot to go back and add that, YES, it did work! I'm still not entirely sure what I did, or what any of the buttons actually do, and I really wonder about her long instructions...she's a chatty little thing!! But I kicked back in my jammies and had the most American cup of tea EVER to celebrate my success:

Amerricuh. That's his "excited" face.
But Yoko has a whole house full of friends:

Microwave. Rice vs. shrimp? I don't know. I just stay close by and check my food every 20 seconds.

Rice cooker. This could end very badly.

Washing machine. Naming FAIL. Obviously you need to come to me for English lessons. And would some diagrams kill you?

The only part in English is the obvious part. Yes, this is for laundry, and yes, it is DEFINITELY Japanese.

The iron...which is going to be my fast friend, now that I have to wear dress shirts every day. I guessed about the settings, and promptly burned a hole through the test cloth. They don't mess around.


 And today I've expanded into mystery toiletries...I just hope this is handsoap:

I picked this one because of the frogs. Because what other criteria should I be using?
It does me good to bumble around all clueless, right? Builds character? You know what? No. It's just ENTERTAINING is what it is. Although if I could avoid household explosions or burning holes in my pants, that'd be good too. And I would REALLY like to keep my eyebrows! Just sayin'. But for now, at least I have my tea, and that's plenty. Me and Yoko will get it'll see. 

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