Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Bizarro Snack Food: Un-ice cream

Sooooo today one of the Japanese staff at work noted that I sure am a healthy eater.

*Cue maniacal laughter....that lasts for HOURS*

But I guess if all you ever see me eat is inari-zushi (that would be sushi rice wrapped in sheets of tofu, in case you didn't know...yup...I eat that every day), yogurt (same as home, but weirder flavors...aloe yogurt, anyone?), and satsumas (like tangerines...geez...do I have to translate everything??), then maybe that's a reasonable assumption.

LITTLE DO THEY KNOW.

So I'm in the conbini looking at the crazy snack foods, as I'm wont to do (EVERY SINGLE DAY), and lo, that looks like ice cream.

Key words: "LOOKS LIKE ICE CREAM."


But it's on the shelf? Not in the freezer? So maybe this is one of those Pinterest-inspired things where they have you bake cupcakes in the ice cream cone, all the while feeling like some kind of kitchen wizard. Okay...I LOVE cupcakes...so YES! Let's try it!

I remember making these...cake in a cone! Yum! Yay, childhood memories!!!
Then I open it. It's not soft like cake. It's firm.

But it seriously looks like ice cream. I am kinda freaking out inside. But PLAYING IT COOL.
It's kind of like chocolate, but has lots of air bubbles like cake.

Do you appreciate that I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

Really, it tries to approximate real ice cream without being frozen. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I wrote it, but I have no idea. How can you be non-frozen ice cream????

Every bite is a question mark. A BIG STUPID QUESTION MARK.

All it succeeded in doing is freaking me out.

And yes: I finished it. Of course I did. I always do. Healthy eater? Ha.

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